WHEN the age of knowing boys came, my mother did not say much. I was really perplexed. I expected some mysterious counsels from the deepest recesses of African wisdom. Instead, I got sprinkles of advice that turned out to be goldmines.
MAMMAN told me that a woman set the standards on how she should be treated by a man. The woman is the barometer of her experience with any particular man, so to speak. I did not understand what she meant, until later when I realized that women can forego all standards to get a man.
BASED on my very conservative upbringing in Central Africa, our mothers emphasized that it was actually an insult to be approached by some hooligans who saw in us a potential match. We were taught to be responsible for projecting who could approach our throne; a woman had to learn when and to whom, to extend or withhold her scepter.
NOWADAYS, some men approach women with blatant insolence. The rational is that such men extend a favor when they select a particular woman. Asides from their insulting attention, I am not interested in relationships with men who prey on a woman’s insecurity. So, a woman should set and project the caliber of woman she elects to be, and discourage the undesirables.
IT IS like expensive exclusive boutiques; they do not have signs rejecting certain demographics, but they do subtly tell admirers, not to waste their time. If your net worth does not accommodate the perceived or real value of their goods, you have no part with them.
JUST AS I merely gaze at the Chanel Boutique’s window, for lack of capital to grace the parvis, a man must recognize a Haute Couture woman and respond accordingly. I am a shamelss gold digger! For singular men, that is …